When I go to the cemetery to visit the grave of my mother on Mother’s Day or on other occasions, I keep reminding myself that Mother is not there. In her grave in our family plot are the mortal remains of her earthly being, but she as a person, and her personality continue to live elsewhere. Where exactly? After studying the Bible for many years, I know that my mother is not a star shining down on me, nor is she an angel, for angels cannot be saved and redeemed. I can say with certainty that those who “die in the Lord” are WITH the Lord. The actual locale is not as important to me as this fact – with the Lord. That is what Jesus said to the repentant thief on the cross, this day you will be with me in paradise. And after the Apostle Paul ponders what would be better – to continue living on earth and serving the Philippians, he concludes that to depart and to be with Christ, is “better by far” (Phil. 1:23)
When I go to visit mother’s grave, I do not talk to her. I used to do that in the early stages of grief, and I do not judge anyone who has graveside chats with a loved one. I now realize that when I spoke to Mom, it was more for my sake, than it was for hers. And could she hear me even? I rather doubt it. For mother, and all of the dead are no longer part of this world defined by time and space. They are literally in another world that we do not (yet) have access to, except by praying to God.
The theologian Helmut Thielicke said something in one of his books that has helped me: to know that our departed loved ones are with God, must be absolutely sufficient for us. No, we can no longer communicate with them. But Thielicke does concede that we can say, whatever troubles us about a loved one (perhaps something that we wish we could apologize for) by addressing it in prayer to God. Will God pass messages from us to our loved ones? Certainly He could, for God can do all things, but whether He chooses to do so or not, is really up to Him.
The Bible warns not to attempt to contact our communicate with the dead. Many people ignore that warning, and believe that the are communicating with a loved one. However, I believe that they are being deceived and are really communicating with lying spirits. Those spirits may well speak information known only to the deceased, but we must remember that demons, while not omniscient, do live in the spirit world and may have access to knowledge that we do not.
So for those of us, who have mothers in heaven, may we be comforted in the Blessed hope that we have in Jesus, who has conquered death