Pastors’ Appreciation Month

October is Pastors Appreciation Month. I’m not sure where we got that innovation from, but I suspect it is North America, for I have seen or heard no mention of it here in Africa.  Now I believe that everyone deserves to be appreciated for who they are and what they do.  But of course, we tend to put all that appreciation into nice neat little packages:  Mothers Day, Father’s Day, Children’s Day, Family Day, Secretaries Day, Nurses Day, and the list goes on and on.

Now the churches that observe Pastor’s Appreciation Day or Month, (and not all of them do) go about it different ways.  Sometimes there is a presentation during a worship service to the pastor and spouse, that may include flowers, comments by the chair of the official board, and maybe  a gift or a gift card or some such token.  I have heard about churches sending their pastor and spouse away on an exotic trip, possibly even the Holy Land, but I have never been the recipient of such a gift, nor would I feel comfortable receiving it.

However I wonder how many pastors sigh like many mothers on Mothers Day, and silently wish that some of these appreciative sentiments could be spread out through the year.  I’ve spoken to many mothers who say that the effusion of affection, the breakfast in bed, or the special flowers or gifts don’t mean a whole lot when you are taken for granted, or even forgotten the rest of the year.  How many lonely mothers receive no visits from their grown children throughout the year, and then get picked up from the nursing home on Mother’s Day to be taken to a sumptuous dinner that does more to soothe the conscience of the children than it does to bring joy to the mother. 

The same with pastors.  Showing appreciation should not be relegated to a particular Sunday or month. The cards (yes Christian bookstores have to make a living) are nice, and so are the gifts, but they are not absolutely necessary.

Something I have said to all of my congregations at one time or another is that the greatest honour and tribute that you can pay me is to walk in the ways of God, by putting into practice the things that you have heard me teach.  I don’t necessarily need the “lovely sermon Reverend” comment at the door, but I will accept anything that involves a simple ‘thank-you’ or ‘I appreciated what you said about  …. “.

Mind you, I’m not fishing for compliments.  I serve in a tradition (Baptist) where we have not only the freedom of the pulpit but the freedom of the pew.  In other words, it is your choice whether to accept or believe my message, and it is OK to disagree with me, and also to tell me so, or to engage me in discussion.  But there is a proper way to do that.  After the service at the church door is not the best time or place.  Why?  Because by the time I get there, I am tired. Preaching, whether you believe it or not is hard work.  The sudden increase and then loss of adrenalin makes you emotionally drained, and even vulnerable.  While I have always been willing to minister to peoples’ spiritual needs after  a service, and have been willing to stay as long as there are people wanting to see me, I never liked formal meetings after church in order to make difficult decisions.   And if you must speak to me about a disagreeable matter, then the best way is to make an appointment that suits us both so we can sit down and discuss whatever you have on your mind about my sermon or whatever issue you disagree with.  If you can’t come to my office, I will meet you at your home or wherever is convenient to you.  But sounding off on me at the door is unlikely to bring a good outcome for either of us.  I have been lambasted, even yelled at at the door for all kinds of things, that usually had nothing to do with my sermon.  Seriously.  A man once yelled at me because the air conditioning in the church was set too low for his comfort.  He was wearing shorts, and he shouted at me that he didn’t appreciate that the a/c was so cool that he couldn’t feel comfortable wearing shorts in his own church!

Appreciation that is genuine is welcome anytime, any month of the year, and yes pastors like anyone else are in need of it and usually respond favourably.  It doesn’t have to be elaborate or effusive either.  A genuine squeeze of the hand, a hug (if you go to a ‘hugging’ church), a short email sent after Sunday, can work wonders. 

And finally, remember this.  Pastors are human.  They have bad days like everyone else does.  You have no idea what he might be going through at the moment.  His work involves so much more than what you see and hear on Sunday morning.  So go ahead.  Express appreciation to your pastor. Do it any month of the year.  And don’t wait until his farewell Sunday.
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LOVING CITIES AND PLACES

 Usually when we say or hear the word “love” our thoughts go to a person or group of people. Although we also “love” our cornflakes or a host of other things, its not the same thing.  But what about an emotional attachment, for lack of a better word, to a place, like a country, or a town or city.

A few years ago while I was living in Calgary, Alberta, a fellow pastor moved from Kelowna to one of my neighbouring church in Calgary. He was a friend whom I knew previously, and I looked forward to having him in the same city.  And indeed the time that we were together, involved not only some duties that we shared between our two churches, but also a lot of fun lunches and good fellowship.  My friend told me how hard it was for him to leave Kelowna.  He described a special ritual that he developed for himself: on the day before leaving town, he made a special effort to visit all of his favourite places in the city, including of course the lakeshore from which he would launch his boat for fishing.  He said that he stood at each of these various places, and silently said “good-bye”.  There was an attachment because special memories were associated with each of those places.  His experience intrigued me.  He really did love Kelowna a lot, and it turned out that he went back there ….  To retire and to die.

In the Bible we read that Jesus “approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes”. (Luke 19:41)  Of course one can argue that it was the people living in that city that tugged at his heart, but sometimes we can regard a city and its inhabitants as one and the same,  even as we refer to ourselves as “Torontonians” or whatever city we live in.  And Jesus expressed some thoughts and feelings for some other cities as well: “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes“. (Matt. 11:21)

So I thought about the places where I have lived and worked, especially the places where I was engaged in ministry.  I won’t mention them all, but my first pastorate was in Toronto, which is about an hour east of where I grew up.  Toronto was the “big” city … the one we went to in order to get or experience anything we couldn’t get in Kitchener.  Now I was the pastor of a church there, and I arrived in the year that the CN Tower was completed.  But I didn’t really enjoy living in that city. It was no fun trying to visit my parishioners who were scattered all over that vast city. I didn’t enjoy the smog and the rush-hour traffic that usually began at 3:00 pm.

My next place of ministry was in Kitchener, my home town, and I soon found out what Jesus meant when He said that a prophet is without honour in his home town. Then later on, I spent a few years in a small town that I didn’t like.  It was an “old money” kind of town where new-comers were viewed with suspicion, and they clearly let you know that “you are not from here.”  The church is well over 100 years old and change of any kind was anathema there. I didn’t last long in that town.  My final 13 years of ministry were in Hamilton, Ont which is known for a lot of things, mainly steel.  Also a famous university, whose medical school is renowned.  Our church was located in walking distance from that church, and over the years some really neat contacts were made with students, and eventually we even had some doctoral candidates, and even a faculty number in the congregation.  Now Hamilton was a city that I never liked, prior to coming there.  Growing up, it was just a short drive from Kitchener, and so occasionally as a family we would go there, mainly for church events.  The one way streets used to drive us crazy.  But nevertheless I was eventually called to serve there, and I experienced something that I hadn’t in any of the previous cities – the church and the city grew on me.  Living there was actually quite enjoyable.  And I intentionally cultivated that, because by then I had learned that you can’t really be effective in a place that you don’t like, whether that is in a particular job, or a locale. And it prepared me for what was to follow.

I am now in Africa, in Kenya to be exact, for the third time.  The first time was a 10 day visit before moving on to Cameroon and then last year and this year a 3 month season of teaching, and some preaching too.  Now if someone would have told me that say five years ago, I would never have believed it.  For one thing, Africa was never a drawing card for me.  The things that we learned about Africa in Social Studies, and in Geography classes at school were things that I hated:  snakes, bugs and other strange animals, hot climate, and more.  But God has his way of dealing with His servants, and asking them where they would “like” to go is not one of them.  More than once in my ministry have I served in places where I didn’t want to be, or at least would not have chosen.  When I confessed this in my first sermon on African soil in 2015, I received applause.  And from that moment on, I began to love the Kenyan people who have been and are so gracious and friendly. And the more I get to know them and learn about them, the more I love them.  Now there are many things to adjust to while living here, but I choose to remind myself that this trip is not about me and my preferences, likes, and desires.  I want to be effective in the things I am called to do, so I put my feelings aside.  Faith is more important than feelings, and if we are faithful, sometimes God lets the feelings follow.

 

 

Living With Cancer

Over three decades ago, I buried the wife of my predecessor in the church that I was the pastor of at the time.  This woman was a larger than life personality, with a spirituality that few could aspire to.  When her cancer diagnosis became common knowledge in the congregation,  she said, “I refuse to live with cancer, I live with Jesus”.  Being a young pastor still figuring out a lot of things about life, I thought that was an amazing statement.  She repeated this so often that that it made a deep impression on people.  Of course I incorporated this statement into her memorial service, because I knew that she would want to be remembered that way.

However, when I received my own cancer diagnosis earlier this year, I knew that I could not say that.  Not because I don’t live with Jesus, for I do, but because I also knew that I would HAVE to live with cancer from now on.   Although at the moment I am deemed to be cancer-free, I was told by my doctors that “once you have cancer, you have cancer”.  It will almost certainly return at some time.  I need to be regularly monitored and checked.  It is a reality that is the new normal for me.

Everyone who has cancer, lives and deals with it differently.  In the case of the pastors’ wife that I referred to, the congregation was made privy to all of the details: the chemotherapy, the radiation, the loss of hair, and other side-effects:  we heard all of this and more during the weekly updates that her husband gave during prayer meeting.  As the end drew near, these updates became more and more difficult to hear as the church vicariously suffered with one of the pillars of the saints.

I was determined that this would not be my way of “living with cancer”.  I have always been a very private person, something that has been difficult while living in the fishbowl of ministry.   Just how “transparent” do we need to be?  Does everything that we live through and suffer through need to be on the plate of public consumption?  Even those in ministry are of different opinions on this.  One household-recognition televangelist began a blog about his cancer journey, where his innermost thoughts and experiences were there on the internet for all to consume. I do not criticize such expressions; all I am saying is that this not me. I have my own way, and I don’t expect everyone to agree or even understand that.

When word about my cancer got out, people that have not been in touch with me for many years, all of a sudden wanted to visit me.  Others, whom I knew but were not particularly close to wanted answers to questions like what kind of cancer?  How far a long is it? Did they get it all?  Will you need chemo?  Others asked diplomatically (or not so) how long I have left to live.

I answered some of those questions for some people.  But it was on a “need to know” basis.  Of course my family, and others very close to me do know the answers to most of those questions.  I told them because  of our relationship and the level of our closeness.
I also posted a message on FACEBOOK in which I mentioned some of the the platitudes, religious or otherwise  that I didn’t want to hear, especially from  folk who all too often think they know everything.

So why am I writing all this?  Because based on available statistics, every one of us either knows somebody who has or has had cancer,  or will be affected by cancer at some time in our life.  According to the Canadian Cancer Society,

  • 206,200 new cancer diagnoses and 80,800 deaths from cancer occurred in Canada in 2017.
  • Lung, colorectal, breast, and prostate cancer accounted for about half of all cancer diagnoses and deaths.
  • About 1 in 2 Canadians will develop cancer in their lifetimes and 1 in 4 will die of the disease.
  • 60% of Canadians diagnosed with cancer will survive at least 5 years after their diagnosis.

For you American friends, the American Cancer Society provides relevant data for the USA.

Due to medical advances made over the years, a cancer diagnosis is no longer automatically a death sentence.  However early detection is essential, and in that regard I consider myself very blessed and fortunate.  Mine was detected after a routine test, as I had no symptoms.  Often it is too late when symptoms appear.

How do you deal with people you know who have cancer?  For one thing, don’t write us off.  Treat us like normal human beings, and if you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything.  For example, on the Sunday before I went into the hospital for surgery, someone after church with a tearful expression pointed upwards and said, “Isn’t it nice to know where we are going?”  (You can’t make this stuff up).  I didn’t know what to reply, so I didn’t.

Secondly and finally for today, respect peoples’ rights to privacy.  It is a difficult thing as a patient to process this type of information.  If somebody needs help doing so, they will let you know.   If you are particularly close to someone in this situation, then letting them know that you are available is the best thing you can do.

CONVERSIONS AND CONVERTING

Recently I became friends with someone who calls themselves an atheist. The person knows who I am and what my convictions are. The new friend asked me, “are you going to try and covert me”? I answered that I had never converted anybody.

I was thinking of an incident, whether actual or apocryphal, from the life of Charles Haddon Spurgeon, the 19th century preacher. It is said that he was out for a walk one day when he came across a drunken man lying in the gutter. He stopped and spoke to the man, and as he bent down over him, was startled that the man addressed him by name. Asking the man from where he knew his name, he answered, “you converted me some three years ago.” To which Spurgeon is said to have replied, “And that is the tragedy, that I converted you. Had you been spiritually converted you would not be where you are now.”

Now conversions happen all the time. People convert from one faith to another. Some do it out of convenience, such as to make it easier to marry someone from a different faith. Others might do it because of some emotional influence in their life, or at worst being brow-beaten by some persistent argument.

Conversion can be a dangerous proposition. People who live in countries dominated by Islam, are often sentenced to death for “converting” from the Islamic to the Christian or some other faith. This inconvenient truth is often denied, but the fact is well documented.

Conversion to Christianity has always been a dangerous affair at some time and place or another. From the earliest days, Christians were persecuted and martyred. The first persecution came from those who professed the Jewish faith and the first victim was Stephen. Since the day of Stephen, a crimson trail of blood has flown through all time, even to the present day. No matter how hard and cruel the persecution, neither the Roman government (who first persecuted and then made Christianity the state religion), nor communism, nor Islam will eradicate the Christian faith.

Sadly, Christians are not innocent from persecuting those who disagree with them. The bloody crusades are a dark blemish in the history of the church. At various other times, Catholics have persecuted Protestants, and vice versa.
When the Pilgrim Fathers, who left British shores to flee religious persecution in their homeland settled on North American shores, what did they do? They made the same mistake by persecuting others who did not share their views.

But back to conversion. A true conversion to Christianity, or to be more accurate, a conversion to CHRIST, is a life changing event. The most famous example in the Bible is the conversion of Saul of Tarsus, who later became the Apostle Paul. Saul was a leader of the Jewish faith, a man learned in the Hebrew Scriptures, a leading person in the party of the Pharisees. As the influence of the Christian witness and faith spread, he sought permission to arrest people and bring them to Jerusalem to face justice. It was during such a mission, that God intervened on the Road to Damascus, and we read the story of Saul’s “conversion”.  Saul’s life was never the same. He became a passionate defender of those whom he had persecuted.  He planted churches in areas where pagan (non-Jewish) religions had dominated. Many of his writings are part of the New Testament portion of our Bible.

There have been some notable conversions in modern times, and I will mention two of the most well known. One is C.S.LEWIS, who is known for his literary works such as THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA and books like The Screwtape Letters and Mere Christianity. Lewis was raised in a religious family that attended the Church of Ireland. He became an atheist at age 15.  During his early adult life he participated  in the occult.  He eventually returned to Christianity, having been influenced by arguments with his Oxford colleague and Christian friend. J.R.R. Tolkien.   Lewis converted to Christianity in 1931, following a long discussion and late-night walk with  Tolkien and and another close friends He records making a specific commitment to Christian belief while on his way to the zoo with his brother. He became a member of the Anglican Church (The Church of England)  – somewhat to the disappointment of Tolkien, who had hoped that he would join the Catholic Church. Following his conversion he became a writer of numerous books, both fiction and non-fiction.  Many of them are a defence of Christianity. 

Another more recent convert from atheism is Lee Strobel, a former law journalist with the Chicago Tribune. He says that he began calling himself an atheist as a teenager and that he “loathed Christianity”.   His wife’s conversion to Christianity was actually the catalyst that brought the couple to the brink of divorce.  However after two years of intense research using his investigative skills as a former journalist for The Chicago Trubune, and consulting more than 12 leading biblical theologians, scholars and experts, Strobel learned that the Christian creed was solid and he converted to Christianity decades ago. Since then he has been a  writer and teacher of the Christian faith. One of his best books is The Case For Christ, and a later sequel The Case for Miracles. Both books are best-sellers.

Mind you, conversion works both ways.  One of the most well-known conversions from Christianity to atheism in the 20th century was Charles Templeton. He once was a close friend of Billy Graham, in fact the two worked together in the Youth For Christ movement, in Graham’s early days. Templeton was also a prolific author, and his works reflected his faith or lack thereof throughout his life.

How do conversions happen?  Not as a result of slick marketing or human persuasion.  A true conversion is a change of conviction, where someone changes their opinion about something they formerly held true and now take a different position.  Atheists (who deny the existence of God) and Agnostics (who question the existence of God) generally fall into one of two categories.  There are those who have intellectual reasons that they have carefully reasoned and thought through, and there are those who have what I call emotional reasons.  Perhaps they are angry with some religious leader, or disappointed in how they were treated by those who belong to the particular religion.  Or perhaps they had a shallow emotional experience and embraced a position that they do not fully understand. When somebody tells me that they don’t believe in God or Christianity because “there are so many contradictions in the Bible”, I generally ask them which contradiction  troubles them most. Usually they cannot name a single one, but simply are repeating a mantra that they have heard from others.  Or they bring up issues that the Bible does address, but they lack any kind of understanding as to how the Scriptures are to be understood.

But I have also encountered people who are true spiritual seekers.  They really want to know what is true and what is not, and they genuinely search for answers.  We must never brush such people aside.  Like Jesus did, we ought to sit down with them, regardless of what social class they belong to and listen to their questions, engage them in their thought processes, and and give reasoned explanations instead of platitudes.   But conversion?  That is up them, and only them.  Deep in their heart they must decide.  It still happens today.

Another View …

What we see in life depends where we are looking from.  This blog is a new blog because I have again changed my position, which will no doubt change what I see and how I respond to it.

In the early 1990’s I wrote a newspaper columned entitled VIEWPOINT, which ran once a week in the local newspaper where I then lived … a small town in which I was the pastor of one of the churches.  Then came the internet and the opportunity to write blogs, and I was again living in a larger city and pastor of a church there.  So I had a blog entitled PASTOR DIETER’S VIEWPOINT.

Now I am retired, living in yet another city (my hometown Kitchener, Ontario actually) and travel from time to time.  So what is different this time  about the blog?  While the opinions that I have expressed in the past have always been my own, they needed to some extent to be rather guarded.  For example I had to be careful about politics.  I was employed by churches that were registered charities, and in Canada registered charities can not engage in politics.  So I treated my blog as if I were in the pulpit … I bit my tongue about my political opinions.  I no longer have that restraint…

I am adjusting to being on “the other side” of the pulpit, namely in the pew. The view is very different on either side. The view from the pew is more critical.  I wonder if everyone is as critical – or is it just those who once were behind the pulpit and now in the pew are unnecessarily hard on the one who is at the front?  I don’t know. I’m still figuring that out. What also complicates matters is that I still preach from time to time, and so I commute as it were, between the pulpit and the pew.

In any case, something that I have always done, is tell it like… well I was about to say tell it like it is, but a more humble way would be to tell it like I see it.