October is Pastors Appreciation Month. I’m not sure where we got that innovation from, but I suspect it is North America, for I have seen or heard no mention of it here in Africa. Now I believe that everyone deserves to be appreciated for who they are and what they do. But of course, we tend to put all that appreciation into nice neat little packages: Mothers Day, Father’s Day, Children’s Day, Family Day, Secretaries Day, Nurses Day, and the list goes on and on.
Now the churches that observe Pastor’s Appreciation Day or Month, (and not all of them do) go about it different ways. Sometimes there is a presentation during a worship service to the pastor and spouse, that may include flowers, comments by the chair of the official board, and maybe a gift or a gift card or some such token. I have heard about churches sending their pastor and spouse away on an exotic trip, possibly even the Holy Land, but I have never been the recipient of such a gift, nor would I feel comfortable receiving it.
However I wonder how many pastors sigh like many mothers on Mothers Day, and silently wish that some of these appreciative sentiments could be spread out through the year. I’ve spoken to many mothers who say that the effusion of affection, the breakfast in bed, or the special flowers or gifts don’t mean a whole lot when you are taken for granted, or even forgotten the rest of the year. How many lonely mothers receive no visits from their grown children throughout the year, and then get picked up from the nursing home on Mother’s Day to be taken to a sumptuous dinner that does more to soothe the conscience of the children than it does to bring joy to the mother.
The same with pastors. Showing appreciation should not be relegated to a particular Sunday or month. The cards (yes Christian bookstores have to make a living) are nice, and so are the gifts, but they are not absolutely necessary.
Something I have said to all of my congregations at one time or another is that the greatest honour and tribute that you can pay me is to walk in the ways of God, by putting into practice the things that you have heard me teach. I don’t necessarily need the “lovely sermon Reverend” comment at the door, but I will accept anything that involves a simple ‘thank-you’ or ‘I appreciated what you said about …. “.
Mind you, I’m not fishing for compliments. I serve in a tradition (Baptist) where we have not only the freedom of the pulpit but the freedom of the pew. In other words, it is your choice whether to accept or believe my message, and it is OK to disagree with me, and also to tell me so, or to engage me in discussion. But there is a proper way to do that. After the service at the church door is not the best time or place. Why? Because by the time I get there, I am tired. Preaching, whether you believe it or not is hard work. The sudden increase and then loss of adrenalin makes you emotionally drained, and even vulnerable. While I have always been willing to minister to peoples’ spiritual needs after a service, and have been willing to stay as long as there are people wanting to see me, I never liked formal meetings after church in order to make difficult decisions. And if you must speak to me about a disagreeable matter, then the best way is to make an appointment that suits us both so we can sit down and discuss whatever you have on your mind about my sermon or whatever issue you disagree with. If you can’t come to my office, I will meet you at your home or wherever is convenient to you. But sounding off on me at the door is unlikely to bring a good outcome for either of us. I have been lambasted, even yelled at at the door for all kinds of things, that usually had nothing to do with my sermon. Seriously. A man once yelled at me because the air conditioning in the church was set too low for his comfort. He was wearing shorts, and he shouted at me that he didn’t appreciate that the a/c was so cool that he couldn’t feel comfortable wearing shorts in his own church!
Appreciation that is genuine is welcome anytime, any month of the year, and yes pastors like anyone else are in need of it and usually respond favourably. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or effusive either. A genuine squeeze of the hand, a hug (if you go to a ‘hugging’ church), a short email sent after Sunday, can work wonders.
And finally, remember this. Pastors are human. They have bad days like everyone else does. You have no idea what he might be going through at the moment. His work involves so much more than what you see and hear on Sunday morning. So go ahead. Express appreciation to your pastor. Do it any month of the year. And don’t wait until his farewell Sunday.